“The constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”
Benjamin Franklin
Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe
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I can remember being miserably sick and alone in grad school and it occurred to me that if I wanted to be cared for and cherished until I felt better I was going to have to do that for myself. It was a stunning thought – that I could care for myself as tenderly and as firmly as I anticipated caring for a child I loved. And so I did. I changed my sheets and took a shower and made myself soup and called my Mom on the phone and I felt better. When I feel sick or under the weather I remind myself that self-care is a matter of treating myself with the same tenderness I offer my family (and these days they delight me by reciprocating). I commend the practice to you as part of your happiness toolbox.
Happiness Practices. Rev. Gail Marriner, Minister, UU Congregation of Santa Fe.
Stand for kindness pledge
I pledge to speak in a kind way
and to help others throughout my day.
I will not harm others with words or deeds
and I will stand up when there’s a need.
- Kindness pledge from Interfaith Alliance Project in Santa Fe, NM. http://www.standupforkindness.com/
Be grateful: Every book I’ve read on happiness mentions some version of this practice although they have different ways of cultivating the mindset. Say grace at meals. Send a thank you note every day, keep a gratitude journal and write down three things for which you are grateful each night. Thank everyone who offers you a courtesy. Meditate on your abundance as you fall asleep. Offer one sentence prayers of thanksgiving every time something good happens- when you see a rainbow, taste a new food, encounter a friend …
- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices
Take a minute right now to close your eyes and take three deep relaxing breaths. Sigh once, now yawn and think for just a moment about a person or place you love. Let yourself smile. Research in the book “Words Can Change Your Brain” suggests that accessing a happy memory can make you feel happier and because of the mirror neurons in our brains, that smile lingering on your lips can make the next person you see happier too!
- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices
Vanquish an “energy leech”. Do just one of the crazy maintenance items you generally ignore (run vinegar through your coffeepot, change your furnace filters, clean out your medicine cabinet and discard all the old yucky tubes, make an appointment with your dentist ). Then feel virtuous and stop worrying.
- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness Practices.
Try a new thing! Research shows the novelty is more memorable than repeated routines. If one way to be happy is to create happy memories and novelty is more memorable than life as usual this suggests that trying a new thing will help us be happy. So try a new thing: take the train to the balloon festival in Albuquerque , go dancing, serve ice cream on everyone’s oatmeal at breakfast…. It doesn’t need to be dramatic but try a new thing and be happy three times – planning it, doing it and remembering it.
Also check out Gretchen Rubin’s new book Happiness at Home
- Rev. Gail Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices.
Learn something new. Learning stimulates all kinds of brain growth, gives you a feeling of accomplishment and can bring new people into your life. While you may not feel happy while you are learning to conjugate Spanish verbs or while your fingers are tying themselves in knots – being able to converse with your neighbor or play a melody on the piano can multiply your happiness.
- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Reflections on Happiness.
I was entirely happy. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become part of something entire, whether it is sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness: to be dissolved into something complete and great.
- Willa Cather, author
Life is a gift for which we are grateful. We gather in community to celebrate the glories and mysteries of this great gift.
- Marjorie Montgomery (from reading 452 in the UU Hymnal)
About Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe
