Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe

If you are one of the fellowship of the broken hearted

who have served in war time,

if you are one of the fellowship of the broken hearted

who have loved someone who has served in war time,

know that those of us who have not served, who have not given our loved ones to serve –

cannot know what it means that you live with scarred and broken open hearts.

Mostly, it does not occur to those of us outside that fellowship

that war by its design shatters the hearts of those who live it,

that hearts shattered by war take years to heal,

if they heal,

that your broken hearts buy our peaceful sleep at night.

Rather than risk acknowledging our complicity in your heart’s wounding

we go on pretending

that war only happens in books or onscreen,

far away,

to people we do not know.

- Rev. Gail Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe.

Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Silver Linings” is a happiness strategy based on an exercise in a book titled, What Happy People Know. The author suggests that when you are faced with a difficult situation you make a list of at least five positive things about the situation. For instance, when my first marriage ended in divorce nearly twenty years ago, the silver linings I discovered included experiencing amazing support from my community, and realizing I could seek a ministry any place in the country. Try it…

- Rev. Gail Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices

Stand for kindness pledge

I pledge to speak in a kind way
and to help others throughout my day.
I will not harm others with words or deeds
and I will stand up when there’s a need.

- Kindness pledge from Interfaith Alliance Project in Santa Fe, NM. http://www.standupforkindness.com/

For all the shattered hearts - a prayer

The snow was falling in Santa Fe this morning - fat white flakes swirling in the wind
and I turned on the radio to listen for school closings ..
“18 dead in a Connecticut elementary school this morning ” the announcer was saying …
Unaware - my children romped laughing across the snowy playground.

The shooter is dead – hardly more than a child himself at 21 – and his mother – a kindergarten teacher and how many, oh my lord, how many of her kindergarten students … they were only five years old … how can it be?

It is the seventh night of Hannukah. As the snow falls a friend’s daughter sings the Hebrew blessings at our table and my children light the Advent candles. Our table is full of lights that shine there, recalling miracles and marking the days, and lighting the way for the birth of love, for the prince of peace…

Can they see the candle flames through their tears tonight? The mothers and the fathers, the brothers and sisters, the friends and teachers, spouses and children and classmates whose hearts were broken this morning? Can they see the stars and the crescent moon that shine through the rips in the clouds?

Oh holy one of blessing,
Oh love incarnate in the child in the manger,
Oh brothers and sisters,
Hold the bereft and shattered tenderly this night
Be with them – their pain escapes my imagining …

And let those of us who sit far away in our living rooms weep as we watch the Hannukah candles flicker out. Let us mourn until it is time to quench the candles in the Advent wreath.
Let us rage as the snow falls softly and the stars flicker between the clouds.
And then let us begin.
There is no choice my friends.
I do not know how, but
we must change the world.

Oh holy one of blessing,
Prince of peace,
Child of light,
Help us to begin.

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe.

bah! Humbug! No one said you have to be happy ever single minute of every day. If you hate mistletoe and you think you will scream if you have to listen to one more moment of holiday music on the radio or in the stores and you are sick of the crowds doing the shopping thing and you are allergic to cute children and kitties and snowmen and mangers –its ok. Go ahead and blast Led Zeppelin or some New Orleans jazz or whatever acoustic antidote purges the holiday sweetness from your ears. Eat something bitter like spinach or chili peppers to cleanse the sugar from your palate. Leave the crowds behind and go walk in the arroyo and enjoy the natural world which cares nothing about human festivals. This too shall pass.

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices

Say Thank You: Life is so precious. Every time a member of our congregation dies , or receives a challenging diagnosis I am reminded of how fragile and resilient the human body and spirit are. I am reminded of what a precious gift it is to be alive, here, with the deep sky and the mountains, the clean air and people I care about. To be aware of our good fortune and grateful for what we have – even in the midst of the hard stuff – supports our deep happiness. How many small specific things can you remember to be grateful for in the days ahead. How many little ways can you imagine to say thank you for those blessings.

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness Practices

An Election Day Blessing:

For every citizen who cares enough to vote – a blessing.

May each vote be fairly counted.

For every poll watcher and campaign worker and election judge who volunteered time and energy to ensure a fair election - a blessing. May patience and wisdom guide their hearts, may justice guide their every decision.

For every person who fought, and every person who died, to protect our democratic process – a blessing.

May we never take their sacrifices for granted.

For every candidate crazy enough, determined enough and civic minded enough to endure the gauntlet of the electoral process – a blessing. Win or lose may they all fulfill the obligations, may they all recognize some portion of the dream.

For this astonishing and deeply imperfect democracy – a blessing. Together may we struggle toward a future in which we and our children might be fulfilled and we might speak to the world in words and deeds of peace and good will.

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe.

If there are little things that make you happy add them to your morning routine. Some days the really tiny happiness practices – the nano-practices – that are built into the schedule are the only ones that happen. So make hazelnut coffee or walk with the dog or kiss your sweetie before you leave for the day… add a nano-practice to your morning routine.

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices

Don’t leave your broken heart at the door;
Bring it to the altar of life.

Don’t leave your anger behind;
it has high standards
and the world needs vision.

Bring them with you ,
and your joy
and your passion.

Bring your loving,
and your courage
and your conviction,

Bring your need for healing,
and your power to heal.

There is work to do
and you have all that you need to do it
right here in this room.

- “Invocation” in Rev. Angela Herrera’s Reaching for the Sun. Angela is the Associate Minister at First Unitarian Church of Albuquerque.