Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe

"Fight Fair: According to Feiler in The Secrets of Happy Families, learning to handle conflict and..."

Mon, 06 May 2013 16:02:14 -0600

“Fight Fair: According to Feiler in The Secrets of Happy Families, learning to handle conflict and disagreement is a huge happiness tool. A couple of hints: people are vulnerable when they are transitioning from one place or group to another so be particularly patient at these times. 2) If happiness together is the goal then the only way to win an argument is to have everyone happy with the outcome! Oh and it helps if you are sit on cushioned chairs when you are sorting things out! (really)”

- Happiness Practices by Rev. Gail Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe

"Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness."

Mon, 06 May 2013 13:43:42 -0600

““Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.””

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

"While no one else can make you happy, while you can’t actually guarantee the happiness of anyone..."

Tue, 16 Apr 2013 08:44:49 -0600

“

While no one else can make you happy, while you can’t actually guarantee the happiness of anyone else, much of what I have been reading suggests that we are happier together than we are alone. So this month, I offer some suggestions for practices to make us happier together – drawn from Feilers’ new book The Secrets of Happy Families.

Share Stories: Feiler suggests that if a group wants to be happier together it helps if every one knows the groups stories - not just the stories about the good times or the bad times but the whole roller coaster. Share the history of struggles and successes, hard times and happy times, up and down and up, again and again. Don’t forget to include the funny things so you can laugh together!

”

- Happiness Practices by Rev. Gal Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe

“The constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it...

Fri, 29 Mar 2013 11:13:25 -0600

“The constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.”

Benjamin Franklin

I can remember being miserably sick and alone in grad school and it occurred to me that if I wanted...

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 09:31:13 -0600

I can remember being miserably sick and alone in grad school and it occurred to me that if I wanted to be cared for and cherished until I felt better I was going to have to do that for myself. It was a stunning thought – that I could care for myself as tenderly and as firmly as I anticipated caring for a child I loved. And so I did. I changed my sheets and took a shower and made myself soup and called my Mom on the phone and I felt better. When I feel sick or under the weather I remind myself that self-care is a matter of treating myself with the same tenderness I offer my family (and these days they delight me by reciprocating). I commend the practice to you as part of your happiness toolbox.

Happiness Practices. Rev. Gail Marriner, Minister, UU Congregation of Santa Fe.

"Silver Linings” is a happiness strategy based on an exercise in a book titled, What Happy People..."

Mon, 18 Feb 2013 11:19:15 -0700

““Silver Linings” is a happiness strategy based on an exercise in a book titled, What Happy People Know. The author suggests that when you are faced with a difficult situation you make a list of at least five positive things about the situation. For instance, when my first marriage ended in divorce nearly twenty years ago, the silver linings I discovered included experiencing amazing support from my community, and realizing I could seek a ministry any place in the country. Try it…”

- Rev. Gail Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices

"Stand for kindness pledge I pledge to speak in a kind way and to help others throughout my day. I..."

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 14:10:00 -0700

“

Stand for kindness pledge

I pledge to speak in a kind way
and to help others throughout my day.
I will not harm others with words or deeds
and I will stand up when there’s a need.

”

- Kindness pledge from Interfaith Alliance Project in Santa Fe, NM. http://www.standupforkindness.com/

"For all the shattered hearts - a prayer The snow was falling in Santa Fe this morning - fat..."

Mon, 17 Dec 2012 13:32:38 -0700

“

For all the shattered hearts - a prayer

The snow was falling in Santa Fe this morning - fat white flakes swirling in the wind
and I turned on the radio to listen for school closings ..
“18 dead in a Connecticut elementary school this morning ” the announcer was saying …
Unaware - my children romped laughing across the snowy playground.

The shooter is dead – hardly more than a child himself at 21 – and his mother – a kindergarten teacher and how many, oh my lord, how many of her kindergarten students … they were only five years old … how can it be?

It is the seventh night of Hannukah. As the snow falls a friend’s daughter sings the Hebrew blessings at our table and my children light the Advent candles. Our table is full of lights that shine there, recalling miracles and marking the days, and lighting the way for the birth of love, for the prince of peace…

Can they see the candle flames through their tears tonight? The mothers and the fathers, the brothers and sisters, the friends and teachers, spouses and children and classmates whose hearts were broken this morning? Can they see the stars and the crescent moon that shine through the rips in the clouds?

Oh holy one of blessing,
Oh love incarnate in the child in the manger,
Oh brothers and sisters,
Hold the bereft and shattered tenderly this night
Be with them – their pain escapes my imagining …

And let those of us who sit far away in our living rooms weep as we watch the Hannukah candles flicker out. Let us mourn until it is time to quench the candles in the Advent wreath.
Let us rage as the snow falls softly and the stars flicker between the clouds.
And then let us begin.
There is no choice my friends.
I do not know how, but
we must change the world.

Oh holy one of blessing,
Prince of peace,
Child of light,
Help us to begin.

”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe.

"bah! Humbug! No one said you have to be happy ever single minute of every day. If you hate..."

Tue, 11 Dec 2012 09:54:01 -0700

“bah! Humbug! No one said you have to be happy ever single minute of every day. If you hate mistletoe and you think you will scream if you have to listen to one more moment of holiday music on the radio or in the stores and you are sick of the crowds doing the shopping thing and you are allergic to cute children and kitties and snowmen and mangers –its ok. Go ahead and blast Led Zeppelin or some New Orleans jazz or whatever acoustic antidote purges the holiday sweetness from your ears. Eat something bitter like spinach or chili peppers to cleanse the sugar from your palate. Leave the crowds behind and go walk in the arroyo and enjoy the natural world which cares nothing about human festivals. This too shall pass.”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices

"Say Thank You: Life is so precious. Every time a member of our congregation dies , or receives a..."

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 12:04:05 -0700

“Say Thank You: Life is so precious. Every time a member of our congregation dies , or receives a challenging diagnosis I am reminded of how fragile and resilient the human body and spirit are. I am reminded of what a precious gift it is to be alive, here, with the deep sky and the mountains, the clean air and people I care about. To be aware of our good fortune and grateful for what we have – even in the midst of the hard stuff – supports our deep happiness. How many small specific things can you remember to be grateful for in the days ahead. How many little ways can you imagine to say thank you for those blessings.”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness Practices

"A Thanksgiving Day Grace That we are together here is a miracle, That we have shelter and food to..."

Sun, 18 Nov 2012 10:00:55 -0700

“

A Thanksgiving Day Grace

That we are together here is a miracle,
That we have shelter and food to eat and friends to love and family to care for is astonishing.
What did we do to deserve this?
Nothing.
Let us remember that and be amazed.
And grateful.
May all who are cold find shelter; may all who hunger be fed.
May all who are suffering find ease, may all who are lonely find consolation and care.
Amen and amen and amen.

”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe

"Choose your holidays: Ok, so the holidays can be hectic and crazy and depressing. Expectations are..."

Wed, 14 Nov 2012 14:27:07 -0700

“Choose your holidays: Ok, so the holidays can be hectic and crazy and depressing. Expectations are high and the reality often doesn’t match the hype. Some of the happiness practices already offered can help you have a happier season. Get enough rest. Schedule time with your kindred spirits now! Be mindful of holiday nano-practices: the tiny things help you feel in the mood – eggnog in your coffee, clementines in a bowl, a string of lights on your mantle or holiday music in the background.”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices

"Be grateful: Every book I’ve read on happiness mentions some version of this practice although..."

Sun, 04 Nov 2012 10:00:53 -0700

“Be grateful: Every book I’ve read on happiness mentions some version of this practice although they have different ways of cultivating the mindset. Say grace at meals. Send a thank you note every day, keep a gratitude journal and write down three things for which you are grateful each night. Thank everyone who offers you a courtesy. Meditate on your abundance as you fall asleep. Offer one sentence prayers of thanksgiving every time something good happens- when you see a rainbow, taste a new food, encounter a friend …”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices

"An Election Day Blessing: For every citizen who cares enough to vote – a blessing. May each vote..."

Tue, 30 Oct 2012 10:58:18 -0600

“

An Election Day Blessing:

For every citizen who cares enough to vote – a blessing.

May each vote be fairly counted.

For every poll watcher and campaign worker and election judge who volunteered time and energy to ensure a fair election - a blessing. May patience and wisdom guide their hearts, may justice guide their every decision.

For every person who fought, and every person who died, to protect our democratic process – a blessing.

May we never take their sacriﬁces for granted.

For every candidate crazy enough, determined enough and civic minded enough to endure the gauntlet of the electoral process – a blessing. Win or lose may they all fulﬁll the obligations, may they all recognize some portion of the dream.

For this astonishing and deeply imperfect democracy – a blessing. Together may we struggle toward a future in which we and our children might be fulﬁlled and we might speak to the world in words and deeds of peace and good will.

”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe.

"Take a minute right now to close your eyes and take three deep relaxing breaths. Sigh once, now..."

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 10:00:48 -0600

“Take a minute right now to close your eyes and take three deep relaxing breaths. Sigh once, now yawn and think for just a moment about a person or place you love. Let yourself smile. Research in the book “Words Can Change Your Brain” suggests that accessing a happy memory can make you feel happier and because of the mirror neurons in our brains, that smile lingering on your lips can make the next person you see happier too!”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices

"Vanquish an “energy leech”. Do just one of the crazy maintenance items you generally ignore (run..."

Tue, 23 Oct 2012 13:58:09 -0600

“Vanquish an “energy leech”. Do just one of the crazy maintenance items you generally ignore (run vinegar through your coffeepot, change your furnace filters, clean out your medicine cabinet and discard all the old yucky tubes, make an appointment with your dentist ). Then feel virtuous and stop worrying.”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness Practices.

"If there are little things that make you happy add them to your morning routine. Some days the..."

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 13:50:30 -0600

“If there are little things that make you happy add them to your morning routine. Some days the really tiny happiness practices – the nano-practices – that are built into the schedule are the only ones that happen. So make hazelnut coffee or walk with the dog or kiss your sweetie before you leave for the day… add a nano-practice to your morning routine.”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices

"Try a new thing! Research shows the novelty is more memorable than repeated routines. If one way to..."

Mon, 01 Oct 2012 14:10:22 -0600

“

Try a new thing! Research shows the novelty is more memorable than repeated routines. If one way to be happy is to create happy memories and novelty is more memorable than life as usual this suggests that trying a new thing will help us be happy. So try a new thing: take the train to the balloon festival in Albuquerque , go dancing, serve ice cream on everyone’s oatmeal at breakfast…. It doesn’t need to be dramatic but try a new thing and be happy three times – planning it, doing it and remembering it.

Also check out Gretchen Rubin’s new book Happiness at Home

”

- Rev. Gail Marriner, Minister, Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Santa Fe. Happiness practices.

"Don’t leave your broken heart at the door; Bring it to the altar of life. Don’t leave your anger..."

Thu, 13 Sep 2012 09:28:24 -0600

“

Don’t leave your broken heart at the door;
Bring it to the altar of life.

Don’t leave your anger behind;
it has high standards
and the world needs vision.

Bring them with you ,
and your joy
and your passion.

Bring your loving,
and your courage
and your conviction,

Bring your need for healing,
and your power to heal.

There is work to do
and you have all that you need to do it
right here in this room.

”

- “Invocation” in Rev. Angela Herrera’s Reaching for the Sun. Angela is the Associate Minister at First Unitarian Church of Albuquerque.

"Make something. It used to be that every educated person was expected to be able to play an..."

Tue, 04 Sep 2012 09:03:13 -0600

“Make something. It used to be that every educated person was expected to be able to play an instrument and contribute to an evening’s entertainment by reciting poetry, telling a story or holding an interesting conversation. These are all elements of creating one’s own culture rather than relying on a culture created by mass media to get us to buy stuff. Tuning out mass media and creating something for yourself detaches you from one of the biggest sources of unhappiness and connects you to a source of joy …”

- Rev. Gail Lindsay Marriner, Minister, UU Congregation of Santa Fe. Reflections on happiness